It's one day after Christmas, I'm crabby and I'm broke.
I'm so full of ham and fruitcake, I think I'm gonna croak.
It's nice to see the relatives,I wonder when they'll leave.
They've been camping in my bathroom since early Christmas Eve.
They're eating everything in sight and sleeping in my bed.
I been sacked out in the basement with my beagle, Fred.
The relatives have all gone out and left their screaming brats.
The toilet bowl is all plugged up and I can't find the cat.
It's Christmastime at my house, the relatives are here.
They eat me out of house and home. and drink up all my cheer.
I love the decorations, and the sleigh bells in the snow
But I wish those pesky relatives would take their kids and go.
Those cookie crunchers fed the dog a twenty pound rib roast.
His feet are sticking in the air like skinny old fence posts.
Now they're in a free-for-all, the girls against the boys.
They're fighting over boxes'cause they're bored with all their toys.
My mother-in-law is snoring in my favorite TV chair.
Those kids are stringing lights on her and tinseling her hair.
I oughta wake her up before the fireworks begin.
But I wanna see those blue sparks fly when they plug her in.
Author Unknown
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